Hi my loves, welcome back to this week's bbeauty blog. Enjoy reading!
Since I am blogging about beauty and lifestyle etc, means also blogging about what goes on within ourselves. A lot of people including me are struggling with self love. It never bothered me until my friend set my eyes open to realise, that it is important. I will tell you why.
Self love is a big struggle, you don't always realise it. Here is an overview of some of the most reoccurring problems with people who lack of self love, you could have some of them or all of them or none of them, this is just a list:
â—Š severe insecurity
â—Š always degrading yourself (sometimes in front of other people)
â—Š You do a lot for other people, sacrificing your time even
â—Š struggle with self image
â—Š losing yourself, you lose your goals
â—Š You ask yourself why you could be important (to others)
â—Š struggle with body image
â—Š problems with relationships and friendships
â—Š more prone to be used, or get involved with toxic relationships
â—Š you feel like you're never good enough
â—Š etc, ...
I don't know if it's just me but my lack of self love felt like that emptiness that is never going to be filled. I felt so empty inside that I wanted to do a lot for others, helping them, sacrificing my time just to be more appreciated in return. I wanted to gain more love from others because I did not love myself.
At the end you will never gain that much love which will leave you undervalued and you become depressed, or down. This mostly happens in relationships, which causes lots of arguments and misunderstandings. It will never be enough until you fill your heart with self appreciation and self love.
It was one of the hardest lessons I had to learn after my last relationship ended. Everything he did was never enough, he was trying to convince me that I should always put myself first. I felt attacked of course because I was always the one who wanted to please others more, if I just leave that behind then I would not be a good friend. Which is not true, you need time for yourself, you need to put yourself first otherwise you will only destroy yourself further.
But it wasn't until my friend said, you don't love yourself, how do you expect love and finding the right one for yourself when you don't have confidence in yourself, when you don't love yourself. You need to be stable in order to have a stable relationship. A relationship that is so demanding because you want constant attention and love and your partner cannot provide it for you is a very unbalanced relationship. Which will start to break sooner or later. I am sorry but that is the truth.
You cannot build something together when one person is constantly breaking inside because he/she hates his/herself. You feel also afraid to lose that person because that is only person who can give you "enough" love. Without that person you will feel lost and bad and you'll start hating yourself for not maintaining that relationship. You should learn that you don't need a relationship to be loved, to feel loved and to be who you are. You are perfect in your own imperfect ways. You need to be stable yourself first. The other things will fall into place eventually.
And that is the reason why I started to work on myself more and more. I first started to cut people off my life who were not healthy enough for me. I started brainstorming on what I wanted to be in 2 years.
Did I want a job? Did I want to follow online courses? Then I was thinking about how I could improve myself, my personality.
Even if I still struggle with the impact of not loving myself, like my body image for example. Body image issues will be another bloppost. I managed to find myself a little more, have a future perspective in where I want to be. This blog is helping me too, to bring some light and to do what I am passionate about and that's make up and fashion.
Nothing is better than having a healthy mind and feeling good inside yourself. You just need to work on it. You are not born confident you are working for it by first of all accepting yourself. It is hard to accept yourself because there are aspects of yourself you don't like. Every little inch of yourself that you don't like but you need to accept your flaws and your beauties. And I am sure there are beautiful things in yourself. Even if you are the brokest broke, the least popular. You are a beautiful human being just keep reminding yourself that.
I am still reminding myself in front of the mirror that I am okay, I am beautiful and I will succeed. I have succeed. In order to attract something beautiful, you need to see yourself as a beautiful person. Stand your ground and don't be afraid to say no. Get rid of people who are making you feel less appreciated or who are letting you down because you started to care more about yourself.
Losing people is a new opportunity to gain more and better people in your life. Some friendships are not meant to be for a lifetime. Some relationships aren't meant to be. That's life it is always growing and struggling, falling and standing up. Standing up will make you strong. It doesn't help at all if you are keep lying on the ground. Better moments will happen eventually.
Do not give up, work on yourself, accept yourself. Always do what you love to do. If you don't then you get easily wrapped up in this dark, closed up cage where you can't escape from. You need to be happy first then think about other things you want to have or want to achieve.
Good luck my babes, stay strong and it will all be fine!
xoxo
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